Weigh-In

131, we meet again.

Sigh.

Will I ever get out of the 130's?

Gah.

Another Weigh-In, Another Prediction

Or not.

The truth is, I have no idea what to expect tomorrow; I have eaten a pristine diet this week, exercised each day, and, still, I have no clue.

I might have lost a pound. I may have plateaued at 133. No idea.

What I do know is that my body starts to rebel when I work out too strenuously for too many days in a row; I am prone to hip, foot, shin and ankle pain and that doesn't make me happy. If I can't work out consistently, how can I ever hope to lose this last fifteen pounds?

So, I push on, ignore my body's signals and hate myself in the morning. On the other hand, I could eat a bag of chips, a box of candy and a vat of ice cream and still hate myself in the morning, minus the pain but with increased chance of one day becoming diabetic which; really would be quite a bit more detrimental to my health.

So, I shall push on and we will see what tomorrow brings, no prediction required.

If I Could Bottle This Week and Sell It, I Would Be a Millionaire

The week following the departure of Aunt Flo is my favorite week of the month; I have energy, my appetite is under control and I have little-to-no-belly bloat. Today, I wore yoga pants to work, and I looked good in them.

Later, on my usual walk/run around the park, I spent more tine running and less time walking and I liked it.

I'm craving a nice big salad and a bowl of mixed berries and my mind is clear.

Like I said, if I could bottle this feeling to dose myself with all month long, I would make a fortune. Or, I would hoard it all to myself just to continue feeling this good; I'd be a winner either way.

Weigh-In

133

No big shock, there. A gain of two pounds which, considering the copious amounts of food, wine and sloth that I indulged in last week is not nearly as bad as it could be. Plus, I somehow managed to lose an inch on my bust, half an inch on my waist, and an inch from my hips despite the weight gain.

Human bodies are weird.

This Week I Totally Deserve to Gain Weight

Thanks to a busy social calendar, including Book Club and Porch Night; I have used more discretionary Points than I have ever used while being on the program. I blame the wine.

And the food.

And, myself.

In addition to causing me to overeat, the busy social calendar also prevented me from working out as much as I would have liked. Add in Aunt Flo knocking on my door for her monthly visit and you get the Trifecta of Weight Gain.

I can hardly wait to get on the scale tomorrow.

Danger Zone

I have entered the portion of the program wherein I become bored with tracking calories (or, Points, in this case), bored with my workouts, frustrated with the slow pace of my weight loss and generally dissatisfied with my efforts in general.

I know this about myself yet it happens every time I try to get healthy.

I'm fighting the urge to give up. I'm allowing myself to eat more of my discretionary Points (something I haven't done consistently since starting the program), I'm changing up my exercise routine by taking a new trail when I walk (a trail that includes a grueling hike up a goat trail and I like it), by incorporating sprint bursts every quarter mile or so and by adding a Pilates DVD to my revolving line-up.

I haven't done Pilates in over a year-probably closer to two-and I'm dreading the initial lack of muscle endurance that I will inevitably face. Pilates is tough, yo.

But, I'm tougher and, frankly; I need to do this if I am to stick to anything resembling a healthy lifestyle.

Weigh-In

131

Huh. Clearly I don't know my body at all. If I had to guess, I would have put my weight in the 135 range; that is how fat I currently feel. 131 came as quite a surprise.

Granted, I am less than a week away from surfing the Crimson Tide but I can't believe that there is such a disconnect between how I am feeling and the reality of what I weigh.

Not that I'm complaining, of course; 131 is a mere 13 pounds away from my goal weight and,  if I can manage not to gain a pound this week, I'll be back on track to meet that goal.

I'm just going to do the work and not stress over how I am feeling. At least, not until Aunt Flo has packed her bags and left the house.

Prediction

I predict that I will get on the scale tomorrow, find that I have gained even more weight and, spend the rest of the weekend in a chocolate haze in a desperate attempt to dull the pain of yet another diet failure.

I base my prediction on the fact that I feel fat. I do. I feel bloated and slow and fat.

None of these things please me in the least.

Frustration

Since gaining that pound last week, I have found it really difficult to get back into the mindset of healthy weight loss. I've had a couple of not-so-great diet days as well as a number of days without exercise. I'm not sure what my problem is but it's making me nervous about this week's weigh-in.

In an effort to reinvigorate my dedication, I started a new program yesterday; Pure Barre. At first glance, the workout seems fairly easy, there is no jumping around, no heavy cardio, no intense weight-work and, really, you hardly move from the same spot throughout the entire 45 minutes but; here is where looks can be deceiving. It was hard, yo. Small, isolated movements focused on deep muscle tissue is pretty damn effective, who knew?

Less than halfway through the program my legs were shaking so badly I didn't think they would be able to hold me up and, the ab work on the floor was nightmarish difficult, think Pilates on steroids.

Today, I am less sore than I would have expected but, it is early yet.

So, I'll revamp my diet, yet again. I'll make a dedicated effort to walk more often and I'll use the Purre Barre program in addition to the two other programs that I use most consistently and, with a little help from above, I'll turn the number on the scale back in the desired direction. Fingers and toes crossed.

Well, maybe not my toes; Purre Barre is HELL on ballet-virgin toes.

Come Walk With Me

The only consistent exercise that I have gotten throughout this experience has been walking. I average 3.5 miles a day and my route is generally the same, give or take.

I walk in my local park and the scenery changes with the seasons. Right now, it looks like this:

The path I take winds around this small pond to an area where furry critters make their home in a dam of some sort. For the record, the critters are not beavers. I prefer to believe that they are otters but must grudgingly admit that they are probably muskrats. I know, ewww. But, the scenery is pretty.

This is also the first area where I am dive-bombed by mud swallows who are protective of their nest. I have yet to see the nest; mud swallows are mean mutha-fuckers and they will cutchoo.

Anyway, assuming I emerge from this area with my head intact, I start up the first of two hills.

It might not look like much but it is more than adequate to get my heart pumping, my thighs and hamstrings screaming and my nose running (always in this area, must be something I'm allergic to there). Once I climb the hill, the ground levels out for a brief time before leading up to the second hill...

Which used to make me want to puke. You know, before I got tough. Then, since what goes up must come down; I make the decent.

But, not before checking out the view...

Once I get to the bottom of the hill, I follow the trail around the park, where I am able to see both hills that I have just climbed..

They seem larger when I am climbing them. The rest of the walk around the park takes me into a nicely shaded area...

Before depositing me back at the small pond where I started.

This is also the second location in which mud swallows attempt to decapitate me.

And that's it. Thanks for taking a walk with me.

Weigh-In

133

Yep, gained a pound. I would cry into my Wheaties but, I have a theory about the gain and it has to do with my, um, plumbing, so to speak. So, I'm going to wait it out and hope for a big loss next week.

Plus, I had a really good week, ego-wise; I ran into the Chief of Police of Petticoat Junction at the store and he commented on how "fit" I am looking, the girls at the bank complimented me on my weight loss and, my massage therapist was just full of complimentary comments at yesterday's massage appointment. So, things are happening, progress is being made and I cannot let a slight setback throw me into a pit of depression escapable only by eating my way out. I just cannot.

If, on the other hand, the weight gain cannot be attributed to my, um, plumbing issues, and I am still stuck or gaining next week; I might have to look into more aggressive measures.

In the meantime, I am going to continue doing what I've been doing with one slight exception; no more goldfish crackers, I think they might be a trigger for me to overeat. Also, I recently purchased a Pure Barre DVD on ebay and, once it arrives, I intend to change up my exercise routine a bit. I'm hoping the workout lives up to its' hype because, a lean dancers body would be like a dream come true.

Update: Operation Hottie by July

Total weight loss to date: 18 pounds.

Inches lost:
Bust, 2 inches
Waist, 7.5 inches
Hips, 3 inches
Thighs, 3 inches

Today I am wearing a pair of size 7 jeans, three months ago, I was wearing a size 10 and the waistband cut into my muffin-top in a most uncomfortable manner.

My bras fit better; I haven't gone down a size quite yet but, I am hopeful that it will happen, soon.

I have some muscle definition in my legs, arms and abs. There is quite a way to go in this department but, I like the direction that I am heading and I feel better every day.

My hair is growing out to a length I haven't worn it at since college. I like it. It needs a trimming and some shaping but, I like the overall look of it.

My skin is practically glowing. You know, for a 42 year-old.

I'm thisclose to wearing a bikini without wanting the earth to open up and swallow me whole.

I call that Progress.