Weigh-In

137

Ok, down two pounds which, sadly, is actually only one pound given last week's gain. Considering the monk-like nature of my diet this week, I had hoped for a better result. Oh well.

This week will consist of the same devotion to my diet as well as an increase in my exercise program. Yesterday I walked two and a half miles, which is less than I usually try to walk but, I had an appointment for a facial and, some things are worth forgoing the sweat for. I also managed to get in a half hour of weights and ab work so, in addition to my thighs and ass screaming in pain today; my back, chest, shoulders and arms are likewise sore.

If the weather holds, I plan to walk three and a half to four miles today. I would try to throw in some toning exercises but, the Cub has a baseball game in a town forty minutes away so, I'll take what I get.

Short term goal: To get out of the 130's by this time next month. At two pounds a week, that is an achievable goal.

Given my asshole metabolism doesn't pull any funny stuff, that is.

My Ass, My Ass, My Ass is on FIRE!

In an effort to get more exercise in my life, I have recently returned to my beloved Slim in Six DVD's. And, by recently returned to, I mean; I have done the most basic workout once. Once, however, was more than enough to leave me in agony. It was also enough to bring about the return of Exercise-Induced Tourette's Syndrome and, going to the bathroom has become an exercise in and of itself.

I'm not complaining; I like being a little bit sore because it reminds me that I am doing something. Something good for my body.

Also, I have to weigh in tomorrow and, while I managed (quite brilliantly) to keep my diet under control despite the most recent chocolate holiday, I do want to do anything possible to prevent a stall in my weight loss or, god forbid, another gain.

I would cross my fingers but, they are even a bit sore and I want to spare you the stream of curse words that such a motion would most likely induce.

You're welcome.

Well, THAT Went Better Than Expected

Easter was not the diet-bust that it could have been. Oh, there was a bit of over-indulgence but, all-in-all, not nearly as bad as it could have been. Thus far, I have managed to limit myself to:

4 fruit-flavored Tootsie Roll Midgies
4 chocolate covered marshmallow eggs
1 Cadbury Creme Egg

That's it, which, considering how much other crap we discovered in our baskets; is quite a triumph.

Granted, the candy is still in my house and it will probably hang around until I hit PMS Hell Week but; I'm not going to think about that today.

Today, I am going to eat well, to exercise, and to say nice things to myself because, despite the one-pound weight gain last week; I am doing quite well on this plan.

I am.

Weigh-In

139

Oh look, Aunt Flo came to town and she brought along an extra pound! Yay!

Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I don't get it. I know I didn't exercise as much as I have the past month but, I ate correctly. I didn't give in to the massive amount of temptation that I encountered and I denied my cravings even though they were extreme; how the hell could I have gained a pound?

The only possible explanations are water retention or muscle gain and, since we already covered the lack of exercise in my life; I think it's safe to say that the pound ain't muscle. So, I'll hang my hat on the water-retention theory, blame Aunt Flo and keep on doing what I'm doing albeit with much more exercise.

On the bright side, with Aunt Flo's visit has come the lessening of my appetite and the disappearance of the chocolate cravings. This is a good thing considering the holiday just around the corner. And? This way of thinking? It's actual  progress; not long ago I would have looked at a gain as an excuse to ditch the whole diet and I would snarf down the entire contents of the kids' Easter baskets without a second thought.

And, frankly, any form of progress at this point has to be noted and celebrated.

You know, since I gained a fucking pound this week.

I Forgot to Put a Title on This

I've really been slacking in the exercise department this week, partly due to the crappy weather we've been having but mostly due to my own laziness so; it will come as no huge surprise if I fail to lose weight this week. Oh, it will be disappointing as hell but hardly surprising.

On the bright side, I did manage to resist all forms of temptation and temptation came in many, many forms, believe you, me.

Also on the bright side, my jeans aren't as tight as they have been. I'm still rocking an impressive muffin-top but, at least there is no chaffing.

Ugh, chaffing, I hate that word.

So, yeah, weigh-in tomorrow, Easter weekend to follow, chocolate bunnies and Cadbury Eggs to resist and exercise to be done, so help me, God.

The Indignity of Aging

As if gaining weight, losing muscle and becoming less flexible weren't enough; I have recently discovered that my gums are receeding.

This discovery, made on my own via an aggressive examination with a magnifying mirror and a consult with Dr. Google (What?! He was right about the prolapsing uterus and the plantar fascitis), is going to give me nightmares about my teeth falling out until such time as I can see my dentist for some reassurance (Monday, 8:00 a.m.).

In addition, I had to dye my hair again a couple of nights ago; for the third time in two months because my gray hair resists color like the Pope rejects Satan.

Getting old sucks. Granted, it beats the alternative but, still.

Longest. Two. Weeks. EVER

The cravings have been significant. Wow. What an understatement that is. In fact, they have been excruciating. Shopping for treats for the kids Easter baskets just about did me in and, if it weren't for the fact that I gave up all that crap for Lent, I might have given up. As it is, I prefer not to be struck down by a holy lightning bolt and was able to refrain from temptation.

This week.

Next week is a total crap shoot, considering that Lent ends this weekend and that the bunny will have generously showered the children with crap galore.

On the other hand, my monthly two weeks of craving horror also ends later this week so, maybe I will be able to dredge up some semblance of self-control after all.

Like I said; total crap shoot. And, as Linus Van Pelt would say, AAARRRGGG!!!!

Weigh-In

138

So long, 140's. Buh-bye! See ya! It's been real but I have to move on. It's me, not you. Ok, it's you but, yeah, buh-bye!

Happy, happy, happy.

Month 2 is Proving Much More Difficult Than Month 1

I am struggling with cravings for obnoxious things; candy, pastry, fresh bread, ice cream, chips. So far, I have won the battle over these obnoxious cravings but, it hasn't always been easy.

For example, yesterday, my woman's service club celebrated the 94th birthday of it's parent organization and one of our members baked a huge cake to mark the occasion. While I had no problem saying no to a slice of cake, an hour later, I almost lost my shit in the Easter aisle of the Hellmouth.

Almost.

Instead, I dutifully purchased the chocolate and candy items necessary for the kids' baskets and then I headed to the produce aisle where I picked up a huge container of strawberries for myself. This is progress, of course but, holy Hannah; why this month gotta be so tough?

Last night, I walked for three miles while the Cub practiced baseball. I really need to make myself get back in the habit of doing toning/strength/cardio workouts at home but am having a hard time building up the motivation. I don't know what the hell my problem is; my body has always responded quickly and beautifully to those workouts and I have no reason to believe that this time would be any different and yet; I remain sloth like.

It will be no surprise when I fail to lose weight this week.

No surprise at all.

On the other hand, yeah; ten pounds down, twenty to go.

Oy vey.

You Know That Poster of the Cat Clinging to a Branch for Dear Life?

Today, I am that cat, clinging desperately to my diet while a yawning abyss of Little Debbie's snack cakes looms beneath me.

Well, actually, I am more afraid of a loaf of bread right now than I am of the Little Debbie's but, give me five minutes and the craving will swing back to them, I guarantee it.

So, so frustrating. On the bright side, I haven't given in to any of my cravings yet. On the not-so-bright side, I am thisclose to falling into a coma as I type this, so low is my energy level and so tired am I.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and blame PMS, given that this is the week of the month voted Most Likely To Kick My Diet's Ass.

Also, I'm not going to run away from the cravings, I'm going to acknowledge them and then stand up to them by bravely telling them that they won't get the best of me. Yes, that loaf of fresh bread, hot from the oven, dripping with melted butter and smelling like the best afternoons of my childhood (miss you, Grandma Molly!) may be tempting but; I'm stronger than that! And, yes, the season for Cadbury Cream Eggs lasts but a moment and then the succulent chocolate goodness disappears for a whole 'nother year but, deep breath, I can live without the egg. I can! I will!

And, I'll keep telling myself that while I hang here, clinging to this branch.

Weigh-In

140

Two pounds. To say I am surprised would be an understatement but; it's a pleasant surprise.

This next week, I will keep on doing what I've been doing, which means less exercise than on the weeks that I have only lost one pound and, with any luck, I will be totally out of the 140's by next week.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

So why do I feel like such a loser?

It's probably hormones, I know. Still, I am starting to struggle with the slow pace that this weight loss is taking. I seem to recall losing much faster back in the day, of course; I barely ate, exercised like there was no tomorrow and stressed over every little thing I could find. Maybe slow and steady is starting to look a little better.

Weigh in tomorrow. Hoping for the best, planning for the worst because, although I have stayed true to the diet, I haven't had a lot of time to exercise and I just don't feel like I have lost anything. Clothes still fit the same, boobs are still out of control and the muffin top reigns supreme.

Le sigh.

Another Trip Under My Belt

We road-tripped to the city of my Alma Mater this weekend to attend The Teenager's final volleyball tournament of the season. While we were there, we stayed with my college roommate, Jules and, I'm quite proud to say; I never fell off the wagon.

Friday, before we left town to make the three-hour drive, I ate normally. When we arrived at Jules' house, she fed us a great hamburger dinner, including an awesome pasta salad that she had made. Because Jules has recently lost a good deal of weight, herself, I knew that our meals would be diet-friendly and, even that awesome pasta salad was low-cal.

Saturday, we had a busy day of games with plenty of opportunities to blow it big-time but, I stuck to fruits for snacking, a healthy turkey sandwich for lunch and, when Jules made lasagna for dinner, I was still well under my points for the day; I even got to indulge in a piece of garlic bread without breaking the points bank.

Today, I stayed on track with skinny lattes, fruit, a six inch turkey breast sub from Subway and a healthy dinner once we got home. Because I was off-line all weekend, I worried about tracking my points but, my fears were unfounded; I simply journaled my food and then entered the points once I got home.

I'm really starting to think that I can manage this program for the duration.

Weigh-In

142

I think I'll blame the pizza after all. Oh well, a pound lost is still one less pound hitchhiking on my ass and, with any luck, I'll get back to the two-pound a week routine this week.